Dans le vent

emilie's picture

Hi all,

I'm working on my own identity and decided to challenge myself with my first script signature.
I initially drew this and then scanned and traced it. It directly translates to "In the wind" which is something I wanted to show in the typography.

I have a few things in mind that I think need to be fixed:
-I dont think the weight is consitent, I am wondering where I should thicken or thin, I think I should aim for thicker since it will be used as a logo. I think my first letters work better.
-I'm not sure about the thickness of the l to the right, is my t too thin? etc, etc.
-Should I keep a flexible baseline?


I'd appreciate any input you can give me.
I attached both .jpg and .swf files.

Thanks for your time,
Emilie Dans le vent signature


application/x-shockwave-flashDans le vent signature
danslevent1.swf (2.6 k)

designalchemy's picture

"s" looks more like a "y" than an "s".

emilie's picture

Here is an update,

I wasn't sure at first about Paul's comment (in the handwriting thread) for thinning but after messing with it, I was more convinced. I think it will help improve legibility at small sizes which is nice. I worked on thinning the letters and getting more uniformity with my thick and thins, baseline and heights. I also tried to change the s a bit so it wouldn't look like a "y" (got the comment from 2 people now).

I know this needs more work, any other pointers would be very appreciated :-)


application/x-shockwave-flash
danslevent4.swf (2.7 k)

speter's picture

Maybe I'm odd (OK, yeah, right: maybe!), but I think the thick-thin in the first example gives it character. The new version looks more sterile to me (although the -s is better).

royalmajestics's picture

In my opinion the new version looks better. The "a" has a bit weird shape maybe.

designalchemy's picture

I have same opinion as Steve. "s" is improved and noew looks less "y"ish. The thicker / varied strokes looks nicer to me, although it does seem more legible now. Humm, what to do...

emilie's picture

I'm going to throw in my symbol for critique as well. Here is 2 jpgs, one with thinner type and one with bolder type (my first version that is not reworked). Fyi, I didn't really put any time into positioning for the symbol, just put them next to each other.

Here is my issue, I like both things seperately but I'm not sure if they fit together anymore! Of course I could rework the symbol to try make it fit more with the type. I like the contrast straight-pointy/curve-smooth, at the same time I wonder it is really beneficial to the overall aspect.

I feel the symbol is crushing the light type but I think the light type looks more sophisticated and legible in small...

Any thoughts?

Thin type
Thick type

emilie's picture

Maybe with a softer wave?symbol variation w/ wave - thin type

squeeze's picture

I like that last direction of softening the wave. I think you'll need to open up that highlight on the boat, at least for small applications.

I prefer the weightier stroke. You just need to raise the lower "s" curve (might require pushing it out a little too) so that it doesn't dip so far below the baseline

aluminum's picture

The thicker strokes feel better next to the mark. It's more balanced.

emilie's picture

What about putting the type and symbol together? Does anyone else feel it might not be the best combination? It was fine when I did it on paper but I don't feel it as much now that it's all traced and clean. I'm wondering if I should let one or the other fall and try for other options.

spiral's picture

There is a lot of contrast between the type (orgainc, flowing, handmade, airy), and the symbol (solid, square, heavy, geometric). I dont really know what this logo is for, but you might try a symbol that is graphically more consistent with the type... or a symbol that is conceptually more consistent with the name.

timd's picture

The symbol doesn't really support the text. Is it a yacht (as in the wind would lead me to suppose)? The waves in the first symbol also made me feel the boat was going away from the viewer. As Kemie noted the boat might be improved by painting it with a loose brush and don't be too scrupulous about cleaning up the digitisation. The heavier text is my preferred option and the changes Scott proposed for the s would help, however I think in the process of cleaning up your sketch you have lost the spontaneity of the original. The a might be better with a loop at the top where it connects to the D and similarly the top of the s and the first n.
Tim

emilie's picture

Thanks everyone for your input :-)

When my symbol was first handsketched, I felt it good. It is a boat but I meant it to be a paper boat (fits better with the name that way). I tried opening it by doing it with strokes instead of a full mass but was not satisfied, although I should probably give it another shot.

The identity is for me, I'm a freelance graphic designer. In a way, I'm almost thinking that if I simply scanned my sketch or reworked it with watercolor, it would look much better. What are your feelings about using a logo that is not made of vectors in my situation?

Time to take out the brushes and ink I believe...

Thanks,
Emilie

timd's picture

Why not use any method you wish, true the final logo will have to be scanned at a high resolution. Computers can be so limiting.
Tim

Syndicate content Syndicate content