Typographic logo: please critique!

tomoki's picture

Hello all,

First I want to say I'm honoured to have an opportunity to join this community, this is a fantastic place.

This is a logo I'm currently working on, based on a chosen concept. It's not polished but already been through many revisions.

I'd be really grateful for any knowledgeable input from you before showing it to the client.

Please be aware that it's my first attempt at designing type, so I'm kind of nervous, but then don't pull any punches, I want all of it!

First off, is this legible enough?

Then I have a problem with the 'a':
The entire logo is slanted, but you rarely (if ever?) see a 2-storey 'a' in italics (true italics anyway).
That's why I prepared a 1-storey version. I do like the 2-storey 'a' better though, but I wanted to confirm if it doesn't conflict with any sorts of typographic principles or is just a plain 'wrong thing to do' before deciding on it.

Thank you in advance for any comments!

PS. I'm planning to balance the 'o', I'm also thinking of making the whole thing less slanted, however I'm worried that 'z' would become less legible.

all about seb's picture

Although it certainly looks nice, I am having some issues with legibility and can't help but reading Jazz Cily Choy.

apul's picture

I quite like it, but agree that there are major legibility issues. I don't think the 't' works connected to the 'z' and 'r' at the bottom definitely looks too much like a 'y'.

I'd be tempted to beef up the weight of the letteforms and give them some more space. I think the C formed from the bottom of the J needs to be closer to the rest of Choir.

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