please critique resume

blackquartz's picture

Please critique. Its not my resume, I'm designing it for someone else.
thanks guys.

blackquartz's picture

in case you need a closer look

blackquartz's picture

or possibly something like this since this resume is targeted for resume companies

J. Tillman's picture

"targeted for resume companies"
I don't know what this means. If it means the resume will be scanned into various databases, then the name (Christine Hoang) must be readable, not oblong-dot fonts or letters connected together top and bottom. Just a simple readable font.

Who is the target audience? and what is the goal of this resume? Are you seeking comments on the design or typography or wording of the resume? What?

blackquartz's picture

Hi Tillman.
My friend asked me to design a resume for her. She wants to send this resume to a video game company in hopes of being offered a position. I'm not sure what position she's trying to get.

She wanted the resume to stand out amongst the crowd.

I was mainly seeking comments on the typography. Any other kinds of comments would be appreciated as well.
THank you.

Bendy's picture

For me there's too much going on, makes it difficult to keep the eyes reading sequentially as my eyes are going all over the place.

I'm not clear on the difference between 'professional experience' and 'professional development'...the way it's chunked doesn't tell me what to expect in those sections. Also the fact there are ten positions since 2009 makes me *very* nervous.

I'd make it all one tense: you have the first two jobs in present tense then a mix throughout.

Helvetica? I'd go for something easier to read; Helvetica isn't great in short lines without masses of leading.

Needs proofing. On p.2 'DISCOVERSD' and 'vanalysis'.

J. Tillman's picture

I'm a tech writer and really don't deal with resumes or video game companies. But here is my opinion.

Change the font to something more up-to-date, even if it's just Calibri. Helvetica is too old-school, for a hip video company.

I would not out-dent the top level heading (Professional Development, Education, Computer Skills) as this does make me want to look to the left hand column to see if it goes with anything there. Just do a straight left alignment.

Like Bendy, I can't tell the difference between Professional Experience and Professional Development. But I may be out of the loop on this. If you need to, just put a note under the words Professional Development to define it.

The problem with the top of this resume is that nothing is lined up. The name Christine Hoang is just plopped in there. Nothing is lined up vertically with the top of Christine's head. Nothing is lined up horizontally with the right column. Nothing is lined up and this needs to be fixed.

Note that underneath Christine's picture the three lines have a line spacing problem. And the two contact numbers really have no connection to the term "The Game Changer", which actually should be with Christine's name.

Here's what I would do. Using only the first column, above Christine's picture, right aligned. Do not use all caps. Use the same font although maybe the first two lines are a little bit bigger:

Christine Hoang
The Game Changer

This makes Christine's name smaller, but will look nicer, in my opinion. Be sure to leave a little white space below the email address and on the left side (it's right aligned) to make it stand out. There may be other solutions, but that's mine. Keep the things that go together, together.

Then move "Professional Experience to the top of the page and keep on trucking with the column straight left aligned.

Other comments:

Like Bendy, I noticed the present tense for the present jobs and past tense for past jobs. Is this standard in resumes? I don't know.

"send invites to become new members" Do you want to say invites or invitations?

"for recruiter send-out" This sounds jargony to me. I would say "for recruiters to send out"

"up-sold" This sounds jargony to me. I would say "Sold additional gaming accessories and offered suggestions to customers"

"Promote events online" This needs some jargon: Facebook or blog or google ads. Put some tech specs in here.

"and directly with a grassroots approach" Wow! sounds great, how about a few more words for details

"Responsible for managing social media networks" Just go ahead and drop a few tech names here.

"Photographed events" For?? Were they ever used anywhere?

blackquartz's picture

Whew. Ok. Thank you very much for the detailed critique.
"DISCOVERSD" actually stands for Discover San Diego.

Luma Vine's picture

- Not sure why the contact info is hidden below the drawing

- Maybe try to knock out the background of the drawing so it is fully white

- Shouldn't a resume, especially of someone fairly young, be limited to a page? This is typically done to keep it limited to the most important elements. My opinion is that you have a lot of extra info that you are asking me to mentally edit, which is a burden to the reader.

- Unless it is for an illustration position, I am not sure the drawing is a good thing to include.

- I wouldn't indent the text for each entry. The bold headings are enough to separate the sections, or you could add a bit of vertical space.

theplatypus's picture

I feel that the highly stylized photo is too much. Even for a video game company. There could be some benefit if they are looking to hire for her looks but other than that, it doesn't say enthusiastic individual.

Then again, it does look like she helps with promotions where her looks can be quite valuable for all those lovely pimply gamers... ;)

If there is time, I'd recommend jumping onto a few Forums of actual video games and see if you can get some feedback from the company themselves. The only one that I have experience with is League of Legends. The employee's are on the forums all the time, so give that a shot.
If you want to give a bit of character to this, maybe you can give her head and glasses some sort of cool treatment. Illustrate it in a fun manner or in a funky photo/filtered way. The entire body shot just isn't recommended in my opinion. But who knows? Maybe send it in, wait a few weeks, send in a little toned down one...?

Other thoughts:

Instead of blowing out her name, what about a statement? "I PLAY GAMES, TOO!" —Christine Hoang. Or adding her PSN XBOX Live name. Companies in the video game industry want to see players applying.

J. Tillman's picture

I agree with Luma Vine. The contact information should be with the name.

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