Personal Business Card

tolose's picture

Hello everybody,

This is my personal business card and I look forward to getting some feedback.

I used the customized swash in order to emphasize y personal passion for windsurfing.
I know it"s not so easy to understand, but the swash should look like a flag / sail blowing in the wind.

Thanks for your help.

twiggy's picture

Nice and clean.

The 'swash' troubles me however, the h seems awkwardly high- maybe lower it or extend the l?
Also the 'swash' does not flow smoothly at the top right corner as other characters do; my diagram shows this (as well as a lowered h stroke):

tolose's picture

Thanks for your helpful comment. the h swash is higher because I tried to express the sail / wind. But maybe it's too much.
But for sure I will fix the top right corner. Good point.

apankrat's picture

Raphael seems to be sitting a smudge too low. I would try and placing it on a baseline of immediately above "Raphael Kroencke".

Raphael might also be a bit too large IMO, that's unless you are going to letterpress these cards. Its size looks OK on the screen, but on the paper it may be come out over dominating.

Last comment is that I would consider eliminating separate line for a web address. It's a pet peeve of mine, have a look at this thread for the rationale. Alternatively, consider moving the www line elsewhere - either under Visual Communications, or even setting it on its own below the phone number. At the very least try and have email and www addresses farther apart so not to create this blotch of duplicated letters.

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