I'm not sure about the font in the subline. I guess you're trying to pair them via contrast, but they're so different that nothing really seems to bind them together.
(I must admit I also don't really understand the subline, but that's probably just a language/comprehension issue on my part.)
Also, in the main mark the "LA" makes a huge gap. Actually kerning is kinda spotty overall. Straight-straights (and stuff like "NC") need more space compared to straight-slants. See how in GROUP there is more white between the "R" and the "O" than the other letters, due do the shape of the "R"? And the first word has a lot of slants, which need compensation.
I'd recommend to focus on 3 letters at a time and try to make them equidistant in terms of how much «air» is between them (so first focus on "BLA", then on "LAN" etc.).
2 Nov 2010 — 10:31am
I'm not sure about the font in the subline. I guess you're trying to pair them via contrast, but they're so different that nothing really seems to bind them together.
(I must admit I also don't really understand the subline, but that's probably just a language/comprehension issue on my part.)
Also, in the main mark the "LA" makes a huge gap. Actually kerning is kinda spotty overall. Straight-straights (and stuff like "NC") need more space compared to straight-slants. See how in GROUP there is more white between the "R" and the "O" than the other letters, due do the shape of the "R"? And the first word has a lot of slants, which need compensation.
I'd recommend to focus on 3 letters at a time and try to make them equidistant in terms of how much «air» is between them (so first focus on "BLA", then on "LAN" etc.).
2 Nov 2010 — 10:43am
Thanks Nina! That is very helpful!