Please tear me apart! (I am a copywriter moonlighting as a designer : ) )

dzandman's picture

Hi everyone-
Had this concept for a logo, and I just wanted to see if it's working.

Thanks!

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Ray Larabie's picture

I'm not a logo designer but the eggs don't look egg shaped. Grab an egg out of the fridge and really look. The gg would be easier to see if the waistline were lower too. I would draw a line around an egg with a Sharpie. Then I'd photograph it from a slightly downward angle and trace it . . . or get someone else to do it.

MattBurns's picture

Really? Do all that to get the shape of an egg?

I think trying to create a perfect egg shape is irrelevant and a waste of time. Capturing the general idea of the shape, which you have done, is enough.

Steven Acres's picture

I think the "a bakery" throws it off a lot. Makes it sound too generic.

Also considering rounding the corner of the crossbar of the /e/ or making the terminal on the tail of the /e/ as pointy as the crossbar joint.

Alaskan's picture

Ok, now, remember -- you asked for it. Sorry if I sound brutal.....here goes.

First of all, it's not readable. It just doesn't say "egg" no matter how much you want it to. It says eee.

If you are stuck on the concept of backwards ees to create the gees, you'll have to lower the backward ees so they're on the baseline like a regular gee. Otherwise, just use normal gees; which, by the way, if by far the most elegant and adored letter in the alphabet so I can't fathom why you'd avoid using them.

But, before you work further on the backwards e concept, what is the point of all the ees? Is the ee somehow related to the bakery? If not, why the gimmick? IMO, it doesn't add anything other than confusion.

The gradients are, well, just absolutely awful and frankly, the mark of an amateur designer trying too hard. Gradients don't make something look better arbitrarily. They have to have a purpose, and here, they just don't. Same goes for the box frame. Why is it there?

The very first thing I was taught in my first logo development class was to work in black and white ONLY and then add color later --- but for the love of Pete, don't fill in the letters with a color that just abruptly ends at the openings. It looks very, very odd and pulls the eye to it like an ink stain on a white shirt. The yellow stops inexplicably, like it should fall out of the ee but it somehow defies gravity.

Scale is a big problem. If you scale it down to fit on a business card, the tag line becomes way too small to read. This is much more important than you might think, because logos need to be versatile enough to work on everything from signage and menus to receipts and business checks. This wouldn't be readable on checks, especially. It would just say "eee" and probably confuse people without a magnifying glass.

Oh, and just for the record, I think typodermic's suggestion is a good one. There is no better way to get organic shapes than to start with a photo of the actual organic shape!

Steven Acres's picture

http://unchealthcare.files.wordpress.com/2009/11/egg.jpg

:)

I agree with everything he said above. Try cutting it down so we can see the basic black & white logo without all the other stuff. And try replicating the shape of a /g/ (just a single-story) instead of just flipping the /e/. Good luck.

Ratbaggy's picture

bake the letters as loaves.

photograph on white.

profit.

dzandman's picture

Thanks for the feedback everyone!

@Alaskan: You are certainly right, the gradient does stop abruptly and look terrible. I have no excuses : )

I will try to absorb these suggestions and post another round shortly.

nina's picture

Why eggs?

e_roc's picture

who? her?

andrevv's picture

egg would imply only one egg. I see three eggs.

nina's picture

My point is, what do eggs have to do with a bakery? It's like naming a candy shop Rice or something. Please tell me it's just me being dense.

Steven Acres's picture

... have you ever baked anything? haha I'm pretty sure the base ingredient for most baked goods is egg (also, flour.)

Ratbaggy's picture

there's no eggs in most bread...but anyway, back to the thread!

Steven Acres's picture

A lot of bread recipes have eggs... Challah bread has eggs, and it's delicious! But as you said, we're stealing this thread haha :)

ophello's picture

Is this bakery called EEE?

And if you're working on a logo, don't even think about color until you've finalized the form of the type. Color/treatment should be a final touch.

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