Grade my work?

SarahMarie1227's picture

I'm working on an assignment for a typography class and I'd love feed back. We were given 2 passages, one a recipe and the other a table of contents. We were instructed to lay them out in a 7.5x10 inch space twice for each passage. Use only Helvetica or Garamond.

Let me know how I did or if you have suggestions. Thanks!

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SarahMarie1227's picture

My apologies for that huge image. I'm learning how typophile handles images. All 4 of my type explorations are also listed as attachments.

dirtcastle's picture

I think having some jumbo type is good. The "1" example is definitely the best so far.

Are you allowed to use color?

My initial reaction is that the grid work is a little too conventional. This sort of assignment is often intended to bring out originality and extreme designs. Also, in your examples, you should clearly delineate where the edge of the page is, otherwise it isn't clear what the negative space is.

On the subject of negative space, it doesn't seem like much attention is being paid to the negative space. For grid inspiration, I often look to Kimberly Elam's Typographic Systems. I tend to lump this approach under the category of "Swiss" design, which is not totally accurate, but it's the single best label for finding relevant examples.

SarahMarie1227's picture

Wow, really cool examples from Kimberly Elam... I might try to play with some of those ideas in my own work. Those are really very interesting. Part of the assignment was to show a clear hierarchy, so I guess that's why I stuck to the grid so closely. Perhaps I can think of different ways to show hierarchy.

No, I can't use color for the assignment, but since I've already done what's required, I have no problem breaking rules to do my own thing.

I also realized after posting these, you can't tell where the border of my image is. Was much clearer before I uploaded, I'll remember for next time. Sorry about that.

Thanks for the thoughts!

SarahMarie1227's picture

I posted a question on here not too long ago asking for help with a type assignment. See: "Looking for a font with feeling."

I received 30 replies.

Many of them telling me I was lazy for not doing the work first. So, not wanting to seem lazy, I post my work first this time and ask for feedback instead of help.

I received one reply.

I'm not complaining, just noting the irony. Thanks to those who have helped. My new examples based on help from here are attached.

bemerx25's picture

Usually such critiques are posted under the Critiques forums.

I.D. - why is everything angled? Just because one can, doesn't mean one should. Your angles suggest the Features and Departments are in conflict. There's no stable ground for the eye to rest on. So good effort on trying something different, but I think you'll want to rethink a TOC at an angle. Perhaps just the ID logo should be angled?

Recipe: Same problem as your ID take with the angled text. The vertical text however is great. I like the balance you're getting with Ingredients vs Directions. Perhaps have the ingredients text be flush right with a small spacing between it and the Ingredients title. Then do the opposite to Directions (flush left with small space between text and Directions). And then space the lines of text to ensure a good reading "rhythm". Also as far as final production goes, you may want to give your straight-to-the-edge text a bit of margin. For bleed and cropping purposes. Nothing worse than seeing more text than you expected get cut off during printing and finishing...

Again this is your project so don't take my suggestions/critiques as the only possible solution or even a better solution than what you have. Design is invariably about solving multi-variable problems and what may work as a solution in one case, may not be appropriate in another. Hope this helps.

evanbrog's picture

in the recipe picture the directions themselves, and the ingredients themselves, could use a weightier version of the font to appear more white. they're very gray, and honestly are the most important part.

also, the size of the type for the title of the dish seems haphazard and lacking in hierarchy. Tortellini is the key here, should be emphasized--and the other ingredients mentioned in that title could use equal treatment as the components

SarahMarie1227's picture

Thanks for the suggestions! I have to keep working on an improvement for class next week. I'll try to expand on some more of the ideas posted here.

dirtcastle's picture

Nice work, Sarah. And I agree with all of the suggestions/comments above.

If you can get about 10 quick sketches like these, I'm sure you will find one you like and then you can refine it. Just give yourself like 10-15 minutes per sketch (maybe use paper sketching) and then move on. In my experience, the concept is 90% of a good layout. Look forward to seeing the results.

By the way, I think the first one is quite good.

aric's picture

I'm no designer, so take this for what it's worth.

I like the table of contents. It's interesting and readable. I can't tell whether the shapes represent something concrete or if they're just abstract, but I like it anyway. The hierarchy is clear, the text is readable, the layout guides me through the information.

Maybe it's just me, but just looking at the recipe gives me a headache. Society has conventions for the layout of recipes, and for good reason: they make recipes easier to follow. We don't interact with a recipe in the same way we interact with a magazine article or a page in a novel. With a recipe, we read a line or two, then go get something from the pantry and put it in a bowl. Then we come back, read another line or two, grab something from the refrigerator, and stir things together. As we read, our eyes are constantly jumping between the ingredients and the directions, and when we stop and follow a direction, we have to remember not one, but two places. Your design makes this process harder, not easier. Give the poor readers a break and guide them through the information. Edginess has to take a back seat to usability here.

Good luck with your assignment.

512pixel's picture

I understand on recipe book ingredients you are using a more of a creative approach

A good way to acheive accurate spacing when using slanted text. you could rotate the text on a circle . duplictate the same rotation for a equal looking angle. If you prefer a variety you could use different sized cirles.

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