Critique me pls

MrKikkoman's picture

I'm creating the identity for my web design company. I want it to look fun, "artsy" and professional. What do you all think?

I attached some original drawings of previous logo ideas just to show progress.

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orange-manilla.png71.68 KB
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blank's picture

Good start. But m is too narrow and a is too wide. You’ll need to either adjust other letters to work with a or give up the circular a, I would try the former as a circular a in script could be great if you can just make it work. Also, make the n-i connecter match the others.

MrKikkoman's picture

ya, that's what some other people told me as well about the "a". I'm not sure which ones to adjust b/c I like all the shapes.

I'll work on the connector. I purposely made it not match to form a nicer curve but I'll try the original.

MrKikkoman's picture

here's an update.. working on choosing colors

Florinf's picture

I like it.

The rhythm it creates is interesting.
The letter a is a bit different, like James Puckett says. It is a bit too round for the others (they stand out).

On the other hand I've seen similar things in monospaced typefaces (the m letter narrow).
As I said, I like it.

litera's picture

What if your "a"s wouldn't be completely rounded but more aligned with other letters so they have vertical stem on the left side of the bowl? But not too long one. Just long enough so it's visible and also short enough not to be disturbing.

Maybe it would be better to look at DIN's "a" what I mean.

Otherwise:

  • right half of "m" is narrower than the left one so it looks unbalanced
  • i would probably benefit with some curve to make it part of other letters. I like the original better than this one. But it should probably be curved toward "l" not "n".
  • end of last "a" should probably have a curve too

___________
Robert Koritnik

MrKikkoman's picture

Here's another one.

@ litera - this font? http://new.myfonts.com/fonts/fontfont/ff-din/ I don't see what you're talking about if it's this font. you mean moving the stem to the left so it looks like a "b" but a funky "a" ?

nina's picture

I would think litera meant making a portion of the left side of the bowls of the "a"s straight/vertical. You might try that; it would probably echo the curves of the "m"/"n" better. I'd also make the "n" wider.
That said, this looks pretty cool. I think it's coming along quite nicely.

MrKikkoman's picture

oh, I think I understand now. Thanks for the clarification.

So, before I go any further on this logo which one of the three should I polish up?

litera's picture

thanks altaira. SOmetimes I'm so clumsy with words. And instead of saying "a" I should say "o" when refering to DIN. Didn't even check the font when writing. It was the design of letters that was in my head. Looking at those now I see it doesn't have an appropriate "a" anyway. "o" would be more suitable.

Anyway.

To comment on the last "tripple pack". I would go with the #1/#2 font version because it's more distinctive than #3. BUT also include changes into #1/#2 that people here suggested (including mine ;)

___________
Robert Koritnik

blank's picture

Go with 2. It isn’t as playful as 3, but the loops on l are great!

scottsullivan's picture

- love the design concept in general
- I'd go with the loops of #2 with the second 'a' more like #3

- Scott

frunt's picture

I think I like #2 best of the three. Not sure that I like how the angle of the n-i connection doesn't match any of the other connections, and I agree with scottsullivan that the second a would be better if it was like the one in #3.

MrKikkoman's picture

Thanks guys. My professor also said #2 and mentioned a couple of the same things to try and improve on.

Funny side note: I'm a little confused b/c you all are saying #2 then I posted it on this other forum

http://www.designerstalk.com/forums/showcase/45352-logo-critique.html

and they are all saying #3 lol. Although, I think part of the reason they only like that one is because it is more bold. hm..

eliason's picture

I like #3 - maybe I should go join that other board!

Quincunx's picture

I like the connection of the letters on #3 the best, but the shapes of the letters of #2. So; incorporate the 'm' and 'n' of #2 into #3 (but widen them alot), and maybe the L-loops as well.

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