Golf layout feedback

Patrick Witmer's picture

Hello everyone,

Well I don't usually post work but I would really like this project to be a strong as possible and thought I would see if I could get some feedback from this great community.

This is the basic layout spread and typefaces I have gone with (Thanks Jos loving Museo).

Sorry the content is all filler but I am still waiting for the editorial, but wanted to get a jump on the inside layout. Please give me any suggestions and crits you have.

cheers

p@

ZUZ3L's picture

I looks good...

The E in the first line has to be more to the left, to align with the rest of the text.

I think the width of the text box is too wide. Also the 4th paragraph is way too long. I don't even wanna read it - it feels everlasting...

Besides that - as I said - I like it... :-)

litera's picture

I don't think it looks professional. Why? Here's why:

I don't like the top and bottom green bars. Especially not the top one. And they also don't complement each other.

Text boxes don't have enough white space around them, hence unprofessional and unrefined look.

Leading with this wide text column is too tight.

Imagery doesn't match in style even though presented as part of the same publication.

As said at the beginning. Looks like anyone could do it and as most wanna-be-a-designer would do it. Sorry. Don't like it at all. Golfers are usually richer people and this doesn't reflect this fact. This spread reminds me more of a church mass invitation than anything else.
___________
Robert Koritnik

eliason's picture

The colors work well for me, and the type choice too. But it's way too crowded, the slightly diagonal "Championship" just looks like a printing error, and (as mentioned) the differing styles of the golfball and the fairway at the bottom are very jarring.

Patrick Witmer's picture

thanks guys, really appreciate the feedback. I have tweeked it bit and here is what I am looking at now.

Really would like to play with the white space more but at 5.375 x 8.375 and a limited number of pages it tends to get a little crowded at times.

Here is an example with at least some of the editorial I am waiting for.

p@

litera's picture

Ok. This looks much better. But if I were you I'd use some free photographic material instead of clip-art vector graphics. It will make it look more sophisticated and nice.

If space is a problem in that case I'd get rid of coloured edged colour bars because they tend to make content space even smaller and less breathable. I'd incorporate more organic shapes (softened photographic material may work nice if partially also in the content background) that will look nice.

Eliminating as many limiting surfaces you'll gain breathing space. BUT. Don't get tempted to make content any bigger because you won't benefit anything.

Your layout is very full already. If you can't get through with decent looking brochure I'd suggest you convince your client to either cut down content or add more pages. Prepare some very good arguments (include some printouts that will look much nicer and convincing) so client will say yes to whatever you'll say.
___________
Robert Koritnik

aluminum's picture

I don't think you need the giant golf balls under the page numbers.

Oberlänge's picture

Hmm...after looking at the design, considering it's for a golf championship, it looks elementary; almost like it's a pre-made template (sorry! no offense: ). Is this something the client suggested?

When I think of golf, I think of sharp, crisp, clean lines, sophistication, rich greens, blues and golden browns with nice contrast. I also think of openness, no boundries, like that of a golf course. Your design seems restricted and too structured. I would suggest playing with the curves that you would naturally find on golf greens, sand traps, the ball, etc...Opening up the design, like Litera suggested will give you much more room to work with. I hope this helps...

sch2525's picture

I disagree with the above comment. I think that the design blends subtle curves and straight edges very nicely. While golf courses are "natural" (is there anything really natural about manicured greens and strategically placed sand, trees, and water?), the game itself is very structured. The ball is perfectly round, the club is perfectly straight, everything is perfectly precisioned.

I actually like the idea of the green strip at the bottom of the original image you posted. But have you tried making the strip asymmetrical across the spread? And what about doing the page-number ball on the even-numbered pages and a pin/hole on the odd-numbered pages? Hmmm does this seem too cliche?

My father has been design golf tournament collateral for years, so I might be a little over-zealous about this stuff.

-S

Oberlänge's picture

My overall feeling was related the initial openness of a golf course and how that could relate to the overall design. But, I can see where you're coming from as well sch2525. You could go both ways; it all comes down to personal preference :)

I would still like to see darker, richer colors...I think the drab, gray background is throwing me off.

Patrick Witmer's picture

Hello again every, thanks again for the feedback. here is some new pages with the a few layout tweaks and some actual editorial.

litera: I agree and thank you for all your points. But, the look they where going for this year was a more vector look, all the tickets and such have a vector image of a golfer sort of silhouetted in solid colors. I tried to reflect that my own way with the dimples of the ball. I would love to work in more pages with the client but I work in the production world and I am given a set number of pages to keep the price of printing down. What the boss man says, I do.

Sorry aluminum but the client likes the golf balls so they ended up staying.

Oberlange and sch2525 I think you both make very good points for both ends, I played a bit with curves like you suggested but just kept coming back to the more structured look.

Well thanks again and hope I am getting closer to something half decent.


p@

guifa's picture

Okay not much of a design comment but in your first comment two guys from my University (Auburn) are listed. War Eagle! (and also my undergrad school and rival to my current one, Alabama.... Roll Tide!)

I like the colors, and most of the plays (all?) are from universities, the design matches very closely with standard university non-big-3 sports. These are the colors I would have expected, I think the blue previously suggested would make it even more cartoonish.+

I really like the texture you've given, as it nicely matches the dimples on a golf ball, ditto for the curved lines which make me think of wind. It's a clean layout which is the image I get from golf players (who else makes sure their shirts and pants are ironed before they go out to play sport?)

«El futuro es una línea tan fina que apenas nos damos cuenta de pintarla nosotros mismos». (La Luz Oscura, por Javier Guerrero)

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