please crit me to pieces

nikimelon's picture

this is project im working on with the article "soup of the day" by veronique vienne. the messages i'm trying to get across, in a post-modern style is "is this communication?" and "now the page is a living surface".

tear me to pieces.

Wesley.Bancroft's picture

I really like the collage feeling that you get with these. It does not seem so digitized like many of these kinds of projects end up looking like. I hate when these compositional paragraph studies seem forced or contrived; but be careful with the imagery that is used. Make sure that your images/pictures are not defining the piece and ask yourself if you can achieve the same ideas with just text. Great work on the duo tone images, might want to play around with that motif.

Also, I am not sure if you are familiar with David Carson

spookDD's picture

It's getting somewhere. Perusing the David Carson books a few times over could really help. Your blocks of body copy really flatten the piece ... break it up with some more hierarchy. Look at some existing magazines and figure out how they're able to do that and then take it to your postmodern level! Lookin' good just needs a push.

nikimelon's picture

Thanks for the great feedback--

I am familiar with David Carson, but I was a lot more interested in the work by Massin, and how he could create these really dynamic compositions using minimal color...

I've reworked the spreads, basically cleaning them up and I tried to push them so that they defintely got the point across.

Here are the *hopefully* finished pieces:


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