Anunci

pablohoney77's picture

okay i'm sorry for slaughtering the portuguese language. but my little sister is getting married and wants to send announcements to friends in Brasil. I'm hoping that there might be some portuguese gurus to help me out on this one. The english announcement (bottom) is a done deal (mistakes and all) and the portuguese one (top) is more of an afterthought just to let friends know that the marriage will/has transpire/d. whovever translated the text (it wasn't i) took out the names for Shrs & Shras Hunt & Rosser that appear in the English version. Is this customary? Also is the typing out of the year (2004) cusotmary as opposed to spelling it out? I would appreciate any help with this one that anyone can offer. Any other comments of the overal design are welcome. Thnx in advance


application/pdfinvitation
InvitePort.pdf (679.2 k)

ricardo_m's picture

"O Senhor e Senhora Hunt anunciam o casamento da sua filha ao presado filho do Senhor e Senhora Rosser na sexta feira do dia nove de Abril de 2004 para serem unidos para Todo o Tempo e Eternidade no Templo de Mesa em Arizona. Voc

eomine's picture

There are still two typos:
- "presado": correct form is "prezado" (with z);
- "Dasa dos Hunt": correct form is "Casa dos Hunt".

I'd like to make some "style" recommendations, too.
- "sexta-feira" (add a hyphen);
- "Nove de Abril" (capital N);
- "Voc

pablohoney77's picture

Wow! Thanks for your help i went ahead and made all of the recommended changes, but i kept the word "selado" because the word we Mormons use is "sealed" and I want to be sure to get the conotation right. Anyhow, lemme know if i missed anything.
On a more stylistic note, i'm not sure if i like the near collisions between the name "Jaden Rosser" and the next line of text. Does this bother anyone else or am i being hypersensitive? Thnx again for your help!


application/pdfRevision 1
InvitePort.pdf (677.0 k)

eomine's picture

If you really need to use the word 'sealed' ('selado'), then the sentence has to change.
Because what's being 'sealed' here is their marriage, not them. So, it should be "a ser selado" instead of "para serem selados".

Also notice that you need the "de" in your dates. You could also change "Casa" (dos Rosser/Hunt) to "Resid

pablohoney77's picture

Okay i made more revisions. I cheated on the leading but is the spacing out of whack now? Lemme know what you think. I'm keeping the script face because that's what my sister picked. Did i get the dates correct with the use of "de"? Oh and I put the ampersands back in that were in the original English version. And Caslon? *gasp* it's Kis, LOL, but maybe not the best rendition. Thanks again for your help in this. More feedback please!


application/pdfRevision 2
InvitePort.pdf (677.7 k)

hrant's picture

Could you make the figures old-style?

hhp

eomine's picture

Sheesh... don't know why, I was so sure it was Adobe Caslon, I didn't even check. :-/
I think you could try reducing the leading in the first 3 lines (just a little, maybe 1/2 pt, I guess), because they're much shorter than the rest.
The dates are correct.

I still think the script looks too small. Make it bigger, while making the surrounding text smaller.

pablohoney77's picture

i definately would if i could, but this font didn't include them. i'm afraid the only fonts i have at my disposal with OSF are Georgia & Goudy do you think either of these would pair well with the text?

hrant's picture

I think Goudy is a major wedding font, yeah.
Plus you could try to find OS figs compatible with your current choice. The biggest obstacle might be balancing the weights, but by playing with the sizes you might counteract that effectively.

hhp

pablohoney77's picture

you are too smart! i tried plugging in the goudy figures but the normal was too thin and the bold too bold, so i might try upping the pt size. do you think the figs would blend well with Kis?

hrant's picture

Yeah, if you make the normal Goudy OS figs larger you might get some nice hybrid figs for that Kis! But we'z gots to see it to know.

hhp

pablohoney77's picture

darn! i was hoping someone would say something nice about that pineapple! LOL I think the fact that it isn't anitaliased adds some weight, but i'm sure it's still heavier than the other design elements. I probably won't change it, but i'll have learned that for future projects! I enlarged the names and added OSF except before the addresses where i didn't think they fit with the following uppercase letters in the addresses. but i could be wrong there too. Thnx again for all your help!\attachment_alreadyuploaded
P.S. I thought that i had cropped out evertything but the text, Tiff, but thanks! That artwork was my own creation from some old lineart and a photo. I've already had soneone else ask to use it. {InvitePort2-29281.pdf,Revision 3,mime_pdf.gif,679.2,InvitePort2.pdf,application/pdf}

hrant's picture

I think the OS nums are working - and I like the full-height ones in the street address!
Just one thing, if you're anal like me: I've never liked those "perfect circle" zeros. Try this: take a lc "o" and make it a hair wider, and use that for the OS zeros.

BTW, I just noticed: you guys own that street or something?!

hhp

pablohoney77's picture

Alright, I don't know what i did to that other attachment. But I enlarged the names and fiddled with the OS nums a bit. I've never liked OS 1's or 0's so i messed with 'em both. Lemme know what you think of the effect.


application/pdfAnother Revision
InvitePort2.pdf (669.3 k)

hrant's picture

I think the custom one and zeros look OK, although a bit high in contrast.
But why have you now made one street address number full-height and the other OS?

BTW, I think you should use a "to" instead of a dash for the time ranges. Or at least an en-dash.
And maybe dump all the periods in the "p.m."s.

hhp

pablohoney77's picture

okay it's getting late in the day... i don't think that last one displays the names correctly. lemme try again...


application/pdftry again
InvitePort2.pdf (679.3 k)

pablohoney77's picture

sorry, i really am getting tired i guess. that's why there was a discrepancy before (i'm losing track of versions i think, kinda counterproductive) I switched to n dashes, took out the periods in pm, toned down the 0's a bit. i'd change the dashes to "to"s, but i wouldn't want to offend with a spanish preposition (because i know that's what would happen) anyhow, i hope i'm getting close...


application/pdfyet another proof
InvitePort2.pdf (678.5 k)

hrant's picture

Looks good to me - but let's see if any real typographers have feedback for you.

Just two more things for you to consider, sorry!
1) Maybe "Road" instead of "Rd.".
2) Is it good to have "Novo Mexico" instead of just "New Mexico"?

Dashes to "to": duh, I forgot it's not English! :-/

hhp

pablohoney77's picture

what??? yer not a real typographer? you've had me fooled for so long!

pablohoney77's picture

okay... this is my last one for the day. thank you all for your help. i tried to fix the spacing, tiff, did i succeed? i agree with you on the ao prezado. it seems off center because the line above has no decenders, so i gave it a nudge upward. hopefully my sister still likes the design after all my tweaking on it. and i guess i'll have to design a pineapple worthy of accolades since this one seems to have been a flop. ;^) (i didn't think anyone used the smiley with the pointy nose besides me either, tiff) someday i'll make a font called pineapple pi... send me yer pineapple ornaments!

hrant's picture

> hrant's just a type designer.

And you're not kidding either. I really think the two require different skills. I think this so much that I'll be giving a talk about the difference on May 4th, at the Universidad Iberoamericana of Tijuana! :-) Any Typophiler who attends the talk is eligible for a shot of mezcal (con gusano) on me. Just mention Promotional Code "UITMCG".

hhp

pablohoney77's picture

Hey Pabs- I love the pineapple!!! Remember who it is for anyways. I had a bad thought. I guess that we don't have to worry to much about being perfect on words, I am sending them to people of the Bahia- love them to death but they are about as good at grammer as me. Thanks!! Oh yeah you are going to hate me you don't need the invite to the parties since they probably won't make it to them anyways. Oh your username came up on Sal's so I used it. Love ya!!

pablohoney77's picture

Whoops, it said it didn't go through so it sent three times. Well, still love ya!!

pablohoney77's picture

LOL, what a great sister i have. No wonder i didn't know she posted on here! Anyway, I'm trying to finish this up today so that they can get sent out after the fact. Since they are going out late and to Brasil, i took off the impertinent information. So i made everything larger to fill the space a bit better. So what do you all think? where does it still need improvement?


application/pdfNew Approach
InvitePort2.pdf (1030.4 k)

pablohoney77's picture

okay just to satisfy curiosity, here's the final


application/pdflast pass
Final.pdf (209.6 k)

pablohoney77's picture

okay just to satisfy curiosity, here's the final

pablohoney77's picture

good suggestion tiff! but i ran them already. i think we'll be safe tho, cuz these are going to friends of my sister whom she met while in Brasil as a missionary for the church, so i think anyone receiving this ivitation won't be confused. Thanks for yer help folks!

Miss Tiffany's picture

Paul ---

I think the pineapple is too heavy, at least in comparison to the other decorative elements (temple and script type). What if you enlarge the script a bit?

--

Very beautiful illustration of the temple.

Miss Tiffany's picture

nah, hrant's just a type designer. ;^)

===

Paul, the linespacing seems too loose in the main body. I would tighten that up to visually match the bottom two blurbs of type. This will also give you (a) more white space and (b) more space with which you can even the space from the future bride's name to the future groom's. The words "ao prezado" may be mathematically accurate, but visually it seems not to have enough space below it.

Miss Tiffany's picture

Paul ... shouldn't it mention which church the temple represents? For some this will be known, but for some it won't.

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