Your thoughts & critique

chicky's picture

This needs a tweak or two, but I can't seem to find it. Any thoughts?
Thanks, Chicky

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MR_07_SaveDate_2.pdf382.76 KB
Quincunx's picture

The information piece in white seems compressed, not a condensed version of a typeface? If so, I would strongly suggest to find a suitable real condensed face. Which would look more natural.
Using less different typefaces can help as well. Pick one or two nice ones, a sans and a serif maybe. Ones that have different weights.

Apart from that, the gradient in the left 'save the date' looks a bit, I don't know, cheesy. With all due respect of course.
And there is alot of stuff that asks for attention, which may overwhelm the message you are trying to deliver.

FrancisThomas's picture

Very busy and overwhelming. Find a balance and rank your elements in level of importance and aesthetic value. I also agree with the condensed type comment, there are many a nice looking font out there that should suit your needs.

timd's picture

The first thing I see is Save the Date wheras the important things, to me, are Mardi Gras in Paris II, followed by the date/time*, venue and ticket information. At the moment, after the banner, the logo and the subordinate copy overpowers the event title. The masks are almost rendered invisible while the Eiffel Tower has too much prominence (and there are some marks on the second storey which are stroked in black which would probably be better as black fill).

Tim
*leaving aside the irony of celebrating mardi gras over a month after the event and on a Saturday

blank's picture

Jelmar is right, there's something really odd about the that serif. Personally, I'd lose that face entirely and use a lighter weight of the sans you used for the big type below.

The swirls near the word SAVE are creating some nasty tension points where they get neat the banner. Reduce the size of the small one and get it away from the banner, and lose the little arc over the larger one. The same sort of tension points appear where letters on different lines are touching in the text at the bottom.

I'd also do the "SAVE THE DATE" banner completely differently. That typeface doesn't work stylistically with anything else in the poster, and neither does arbitrarily tilting it.

The piece is also over-the-top visually; between the text, the swirls, the dancing guy, the masks, and the Eiffel tower, there's too much going on. I would tone down the swirls and lose the dancing guy.

If you're going to darken your colors in the background pick darker colors, don't use transparency tricks. It makes the overlap a bright little distraction, and darkening yellow by adding black makes the yellow look dirty, not darker.

bojev's picture

White text needs less leading so it reads more as a block

Lex Kominek's picture

What font is the white text in? To me it looks like it may have been replaced by Adobe Serif, though I'm not sure.

- Lex

chicky's picture

Wow! Great opinions all. I'll post the new version soon.

Lex - you are correct.

Thank you :)

Number3Pencils's picture

Hey, that's the day I'll turn 18!

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