Business Card crit if you would be so kind.

G T's picture

Good afternoon ladies and gents,

Would you be so kind as to gimme your esteemed opinions
on my humble business card, thankye kindly?

I'm not happy with the fitting of my contact details in
the white space - feels somewhat awkward and doesn't sit
properly. Any suggestions?

Thanks, G

dan_reynolds's picture

What if you angled your textblock so that it fit more nicely into that white frame?

Matt Squire's picture

The Red oval in the background almost looks like it is munching up your details, Maybe ts the placement of your details that needs to change. They seem very squashed agains the left side of the card, have you thought about just making the white space a little larger, a bit more room to breathe. It may solve your problems, as I do like the way your details are set at a different angle to the white space, it ads a little tension.

M

G T's picture

Thanks,

here are two quick reworks.

I still prefer having the text at an angle dan , but
thanks for the input.

I think that no matter what the size of the space
around the text the open space above the AM doesn't
balance off with that in the corner below the .com

Graham

Chris Keegan's picture

Maybe make the white box about 5% - 10% bigger to give the type some room.

BradB's picture

I hate to say this, but did you spell your email address correctly?

timd's picture

How about if you keep the type parallel to the edge of the card range it right to an angle taken from the white block, you might find that the e-mail address is too big like that maybe increasing the name would help. On another note I don't like the virgule with spaces as divider, but if you want to use it you could baseline shift it to centre visually on the text and you might want to kern the space between 6 9 a little tighter.
Tim

drduckling's picture

I like a LOT better the second version (w/ the angled text)
About the size of the white "box" I would say that you should have a visual "turning white" (blanc tournant, en français) of equal proportions all around the text (same amount of white on top, left, right and bottom). You're amlost there! (Are you sure about that italic font?)

satya's picture

sorry to say....but am not at all impressed with the design. what does that red aval doing there? it's of no use.......If you want to make things simple, make it too simple....so that they look more powerful. Don't add unnecessary elements in it. Also there's a lots of visual emptiness there in your design ..rethink of it.

BTW, among these two....second one loks better.

satya

G T's picture

Thanks all.

i'll give it some thought and put something up soon.
(sometime after i finish preparing to move tomorrow
which i've been putting off for most of the day...)

Graham

duncan's picture

Graham

The red oval outweighs your text. The diagnol text does help the general flow and helps the text in "the fight against the red oval." Perhaps moving the white area to the right so it is more even with the red would level out the balance?

Duncan

Erik Fleischer's picture

I'd definitely increase the white space around your name and details, probably by reducing the type size. I don't think your name in all caps works at all, and I definitely don't think you should mix all caps, small caps, text figures and italics. Set your name apart by leaving some space between it and the rest.

mad grab's picture

i dont know why but when i look at this all I see is a wrench. anyone agree?

dave bailey's picture

It's a flowery wrench!

ebensorkin's picture

I read a flowery wrench too. I wouldn't get too stuck on making this one work. Not that it can't but because it's good to do something else & then circle back. And I would ask myself. "Do I want my card to read ( subliminally) as a 'flowery wrench'?".

david h's picture

> I’m not happy with the fitting of my contact details...

not just the contact details... but the composition & center of interest ( you can do it with the flowery wrench, nail.... , but first composition & center of interest):

> Any suggestions?

maybe best to tell us what do you want to convey

ebensorkin's picture

I think it's great to just make stuff & think about what it means later but I also think that thinking about whnat you mean to say (albeit subliminally) is also good. Take both paths. I also think you could take your oval and spin it so it is a bit more north south in orientation & see what happens. But don't neglect the deliberate path!

bieler's picture

I thought it was a wrench at first as well. The fleurons add to the confusion. Get rid of them, you are mixing counterposing typographic traditions. If you are basically stuck on the two items I would box the text as if it were a card laid upon the disk. That is, extend the rule that obliterates the disk completely around the text. A card within a card. In this case, the text block needs to angle with the rule. Get rid of the all caps as well.

An old book designer's/typographer's maxim, "Throw out your best idea(s) for the sake of the piece." Let it grow organically from one idea to the next. Let it design itself. Don't restrict the flow.

Gerald

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