Deseos Hookah Bar logo

dave bailey's picture

We're doing restaurant identity design in my Visual Communications class right now and my project is a Hookah bar called 'Deseos' I need some advice on the lettering, I enjoy what I've done already but need some constructive criticism in the next couple of days before I really have to finalize it and apply it to the system.

alexcarr's picture

I really like it. I am trying to look at it from a point of view of the possiblity of someone missing something.

The stroke gets really thin on the s's. How the thin stroke moves back a lot on the last one and doesn't really define the s. The first one is clear but it almost seems like the thin stroke shouldn't be playing a role as much based on how its being used on the D and the o to s.

Overall, maybe defining the second s more. And working on the connection from the second s to the smoke trail.

It still works. Perhaps continuing the thin stroke at the bottom. The tail of the 'smoke' is pretty thick. It might look neat of it got thin like the strokes you use at the top.

Otherwise it looks very nice. Great start.

dave bailey's picture

Thanks, this is what I'm looking for! Outside perspective is critical, even though I'll be present rough concepts of logos tomorrow I'd like more professional lettering advice.

alexcarr's picture

no problem. If this is the first rough, then its probably going to go through a lot.

Cheers

dave bailey's picture

no problem. If this is the first rough, then its probably going to go through a lot.
Cheers

Agreed. I was quite productive during my Sociology class :-D

This is the other idea I had, but I don't like it as much. We have to draw inspiration from a specific artist and I chose the surrealist period of Dali's works so this other idea doesn't work so much.

Lex Kominek's picture

I like the first one, but not the second. I agree with what Alex has said about making the smoke trail thinner and fixing the second 's' and connecting it with the trail. If it were connected, the whole logo would become one continuous stroke.

I wonder if you could combine the ideas and put a hookah at the bottom of the first one, or if that would be too obvious/not subtle enough.

As it stands, the first one is really cool.

- Lex

dave bailey's picture

Update:

tonicastro's picture

I found too much contrast between the thin and thick parts. Are you sure it can be readable when draw it little? Maybe you could try to unifie it a little

timd's picture

Maybe you could look at curving the 2nd stroke of the d (where it forms the join to the e) to the other side of the first stroke, sorry, I am confusing myself here, to make a smoother transition, more like the 2nd e, which would also make it more of a D shape. I think you can also have a bit more contrast in the first swoosh, under the os, it looks a bit sports logo compared to the others. Is the Dali inspiration his moustache?:)
Tim

BruceS63's picture

The lettering is improved, but the smoke trail doesn't work as well in yur second version. I prefer the way the smoke looks in the first one, overall, but the tail of the smoke is better in the second.

dave bailey's picture

Toni: I'll look at doing an in between as far as contrast goes, I actually sclaed this mark down to about an inch square and it didn't disappear as much as expected. What do you mean by 'unify it a little'? That's essentially what I was trying to do when I upped the contrast of the smoke to match the lettering.

Tim: It took me about 10 times of reading your comment to understand, but I do now! Agreed about the smoke immediately under the type. The Dali inspiration does in fact come from his moustache! AND his signature on some of his paintings/works that I found is a very high contrast script.

Bruce: As stated above I'll look into the smoke again, maybe see what a happy medium looks like. Thanks!

Ratbaggy's picture

I find it kind of difficult to read. I'm sure there is a compromise between read-ability and smoke like style.

----------
Paul Ducco
Solid Creative

dave bailey's picture

Update. Not sure how I feel about tim's _D_ suggestion if that IS what he was suggesting.

thought-well's picture

Is this a cigar club?

dave bailey's picture

Is this a cigar club?
This is a Hookah Bar, as in a chill place that people can smoke these:

track and kern's picture

Where my comments removed by a moderator or did they just never post correctly?

timd's picture

Typophile suffered some problems yesterday with posting. My comment also disappeared into the ether.

David, that is what I was suggesting, you could actually bring the loop further down, my feeling is that it makes the D more D-shaped (actually it reminds me of the Desilu logo) and reduces ambiguity.
Tim

Grot Esqué's picture

The leftmost loop seems kinda out of place. (The D.) It doesn’t flow smoothly. It’s the same thickness all way and I think it goes too high, at least the shape should be more dynamic.

jselig's picture

I think it's a good start to the lettering, but if you're approaching this with the idea to keep in style with brush script work it needs some tweaking. Ideally you'd have a drawing tool in mind when you start out even if it's all digital.

I wanted to bring it up because I feel it would help with trying to unify the thick/thin transitions in your smoke swash, The swells compared to the stems are way too thick; alternatively you could thicken up the thin part of the strokes a bit. I think the letters read rather well myself, and I wish I had my brush pen at the office to write this out because something about the joining of the _D_ to the _e_ is bothering me.

Ah, I think the stroke is too straight. :) Also the ending of your _o_ where it goes over the _s_ is a bit thin and it might be a problem with printing so you might want to add 2 points to the end and thicken it out just a tad. I might also reduce the angle that you bring the smoke back up.

dave bailey's picture

Update:

Bobby Henderson's picture

Better.

However, the high contrast between thick and thin can get you into trouble when it comes to making the restaurant's signs.

Signage is an area not explored nearly enough when it comes to developing a brand ID program. Something that may look good on a printed page may be impossible to convert over to neon, channel letters and various other kinds of signs.

When it comes to restaurants, the presentation of the store front to the outside world is very important -arguably the most important aspect of the marketing package.

timd's picture

I far preferred the high contrast and would have advocated going in the other direction of trying to make the joins as thin as possible even to the point of them disappearing, it reminds me of a recent id request (which, predictably, I cannot find at the moment).
Tim

dave bailey's picture

I far preferred the high contrast and would have advocated going in the other direction of trying to make the joins as thin as possible even to the point of them disappearing, it reminds me of a recent id request (which, predictably, I cannot find at the moment).

I agree, I feel like getting rid of that contrast makes the mark lose character that I was going for. Although really thin strokes can be an issue with printing I'm wondering if there is a solution like you mentioned where the connections get so thin that they disappear. I'll take another look at this, today.

timd's picture

As a rough guide you can take the logo to the size(s) you see it being used at and check if any strokes are 0.25pt or less then it is going to have problems (this will differ depending on media, print process etc.)
Tim

dave bailey's picture

This is basically a school only project, so output will be on Heavyweight Matte paper and printed on either an Epson 1280 or 2200.

Lex Kominek's picture

You could use your newer version at small sizes only, with the original for all other applications.

- Lex

Syndicate content Syndicate content