help with consistency

andrew_baker's picture

I am posting lettering I want to include in a prize promotion flyer I am designing for the summer reading club at my library. The theme for this year's club is Paws, Claws, Scales, and Tails.

This is all play right now, so no flyer or tickets yet.

I guess I want to know first if you can read it easily.
It's display size only, and won't be used as a logo.

Are the primary colors distracting? First character too angled?

Your feedback is appreciated.

Andrew

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canus's picture

A note before I go to sleep. I like the idea. Colors are nice. It remindes me of a nursery. I can read them just fine.

dezcom's picture

Go for it Andrew! It reads quite well and nicely done to boot.

ChrisL

timd's picture

The only changes I would make is to the book the child is holding, the weights of the strokes look slightly different and you could include a line to join the two for a spine; and the giraffe should have more squarish spots. But nice friendly characters and easily readable to me.
Tim

andrew_baker's picture

Thanks for the comments everyone.

Tim, I will fix the stroke, and tweak the giraffe.

Andrew

timd's picture

Don't let the authorities catch you tweaking giraffes :)

andrew_baker's picture

Tim, I've had my fun with giraffes before. ;)

made in 2002

andrew_baker's picture

made some changes.

timd's picture

I would say good to go.
Tim

andrew_baker's picture

Almost.

I didn't work on the spots yet.

Tom Cannon's picture

The kid with a book is too forced. I think part of the book needs to cut out of the "R". The book spine needs to be angled and not so geometric. Make it more fluid with different thicknesses. Also, the smile on the mom/dad needs to be consistent with the kids smile.

Tom Cannon's picture

Now that I study it closer, I think the top part of the "a" looks forced and unneeded. You get the same effect taking off the fin. Same with the giraffe leg. The left legs dont match the right and it looks forced.

andrew_baker's picture

That's useful feedback, Tom.

I don't like the legs of the giraffe u propose, but it's a fresh perspective.

Your book solution is a nice idea.

I might work on the seal a bit more.

Andrew

Tom Cannon's picture

I don't like my legs either. They look too flimsy. I just wanted to give you a rough idea of what I was thinking. I couldn't explain it in words. They really need to match the right-side legs as much as possible to look convincing.

andrew_baker's picture

Here is the latest. Thoughts?

Miss Tiffany's picture

I question the black dots in the giraffe as there is no use of black in the other letters. I also question the split tail on the letter _a_ ... I don't quite understand that shape. The _e_ and the _a_ seem lighter than the _R_ and the _d_. The strokes which make up the book seem a little light as well.

Tom Cannon's picture

I still don't like the book being so literal and everything else is so abstract.

Right now it looks like the giraffe is melting to form the "d". I agree with Tiffany about the spots. It might not be neccessary. Since everything is abstract, I don't think it would be a bad idea to just make the "d" look like a "d" and add characteristics of a giraffe but putting the tail at the tail of the letter. Also, lower the stem of the "a".

Tom Cannon's picture

The bottom of the "R" could be curved to fit the other letters. I think having boots on the R isn't needed.

Tom Cannon's picture

I noticed the kangaroo has sharp ears that don't match the other ears. It isn't as friendly as your other characters.

andrew_baker's picture

Thank you. This is helpful to me.

I can see now that the spots aren't needed, and abstract the book.

However, I think the giraffe has become to abstracted. The other animals anatomy seems in the right place. The d has been reduced to a giraffe head with a tail for a foot.

Otherwise, the kangaroo should be simplified as well.

Tom Cannon's picture

This might work. It is rough but I think it works.

timd's picture

I didn’t work on the spots yet
Sorry, couldn't (didn't) look closely.

In Tom's redraw I think the a is losing some of its animal characteristics, I prefer the seal-like representation. Also the giraffe's legs are better in your small representation although now I see they do affect the counter of the d.

Tim

andrew_baker's picture

some more tinkering.

Tom Cannon's picture

I like it. Sweet kangaroo!!! I like your solution for the giraffe.

andrew_baker's picture

alternate giraffe tail solution.

Tom Cannon's picture

Andrew, do something in between the two tails. Make it like your kangaroo, slightly rasing above the letter.

seventy7's picture

I really like the feel of your latest version of this. I think it may benefit from making use of two small adjustments which are seen in Tom's versions:

1. thicker strokes on the mouths of the adult and child.

2. create more of a diagonal in the book spine. Right now it looks a bit noncommittal. It looks like it's meant to be verticle and is slightly at an angle on accident.

Great job!

andrew_baker's picture

In conclusion,

Tom Cannon's picture

Brilliant!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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