Top Ten Things Not To Say on Typophile

William Berkson's picture

In this thread:

Chris Keegan says:

>Sorry, but I always chuckle when I see someone make a comment like “…so expensive”
>There should be a list “Top Ten Things Not To Say On Typofile”

So here's a few more:

"Can anyone send me free the Adobe Type Library?"

"With Helvetica and Times New Roman being so great,
who really needs new fonts?"

"Those Armenians are so damn aggressive and bellicose,
why can't they be nice like the Israelis?"

"Comic Sans is my favorite typeface. I just love it."

"We all need to thank the American capitalism for
creating computer type design. God bless George Bush."

Bald Condensed's picture


This is going to hurt! :-D

(Decides to stay clear from General Discussions for the foreseeable future).

speter's picture

Don't forget "free, bundled font".

hrant's picture

“Those Armenians are so damn aggressive and bellicose,
why can’t they be nice like the Israelis?”

Tellingly, there are of course only two countries on this
earth where you could actually get away with saying that.


dezcom's picture

Can someone name this typeface from only one letter--and I need the answer REALLY fast!


Dan Weaver's picture

My favorites are what is the typeface of the (blank) logo or sports team. Multimillion corporations using off the rack typefaces for their idenity, yeah right.

Si_Daniels's picture

I just had to share this "Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at Cmabrigde uinervtisy...

raph's picture

"Blackletter is only of historical interest or for Nazis."

"Berthold's approach to protecting their intellectual property is reasonable."

"With a little makeready, digital photopolymer can easily match the quality and craftsmanship of any letterpress printer."

"Goudy is the greatest type designer in history."

Bald Condensed's picture

What, he isn't? :-D

A popular one in the Type Identification Board: "Can you name a free font similar to..."

I know I know I couldn't help myself. I feared this would turn into something nasty but it didn't.

Nick Shinn's picture

Is there going to be a TypeCon this year?

bergamot's picture

Apparently, "I like Futura".

vinceconnare's picture

feck off you arses... you know nothing about designing solutions for others.

Ascender's Most Popular

Maxim Zhukov's picture

“Whatchamacallit, Cyrillic ? Cool... Okay, this is what you do: ...”

William Berkson's picture

Those were **jokes** folks.
I don't agree with either them or their opposites.
They were supposed to be a finely tuned mix
of idiocy and typophile-incorrectness.
I like everyone else's also. More, please!

armin's picture

"To make an italic, I just apply a 15° slant to everything, right?"

"It's so easy to make a typeface, all you have to do is draw half the characters and then flip them: w for m; d for b, p and q; t for j; 6 for 9. See? Easy."

"I just downloaded a whole font that looks like the Metallica logo. Woohoo!"

"Man, I just came back from Germany, they sell the best bringhursts with sauerkraut I have ever tasted. Better than any ballpark."

"Jonathan Cranbrook is a great type designer"

"And that Tobias Hoefler, great guy!"

"Doesn't Hrant have anything else to do?"

Thank you folks, I'll be here all week!

Eric_West's picture

A nice typeface is like a beautiful woman, curvy in all the right places. - me

rs_donsata's picture

"I think I know enough about type"

"I'm in a contest, so please, ¿Could you guys identify this font for me?"

"Who wants to exchange fonts?"

"I just found this amazing site where you can download totally free fonts like Mostra, Manticore, Panoptica and even some weird stuff called Maral"



hrant's picture

> “Legibility”

Now that's funny.


paul d hunt's picture

reading speed is even funnier. ;^D

and i think most things that i say on typophile could be on the "what not to say" list.

Si_Daniels's picture

I'm going to -insert name of major city-, and I'd like you to suggest some interesting type related things for me to do while I'm there.

hrant's picture

Go to the second alley off of Main street and
rummage in the dumpsters for some found type.


smarks's picture

"ITC Garamond really is the best of all the Garamond revivals."

"Why can't you stick to the fonts that came with the computer?"

"Can you suggest a font I could use for a document I'm preparing? It needs to be finished tomorrow. Thanks!"

"What's wrong with letterspacing blackletter? I do it all the time."


beejay's picture

"Did anyone notice that I stretched this font 30 percent?"
"Am I the only one who stares at my menu like a crazy person?"
"Is Trajan that font used on all those movie posters?"
"There's no need for any new fonts."
"Anyone know the designer of the Papa Roach font?"


Bert Vanderveen's picture

"Why is Arial not called Helvetica?"

dezcom's picture

"I got this font from a friend and I want to know what free software I can get to automatically make a whole family out of it?"


Chris Rugen's picture

"Why is 'don't look like crap' in my post now?"

"Bundled fonts are great!"

"I didn't get my membership! I've waited MONTHS! I want my money back. I hate all of you!"

"Man, I love the new typefaces Microsoft comissioned."

"So, do is the Mac better than the PC for fonts? What about Quark and InDesign?"

paul d hunt's picture

this is turning into a FAQs thread now...

miles's picture

I've made a decent income by choosing type design.

Chris Keegan's picture

How about this - "I love Comic Sans"

William Berkson's picture

Chris, I gave that one above, and Vincent Connare rather understandably did not appreciate the humor. It *will* lead to the Nth time this has been rehashed and has got very tired even for those who of us who are not Vince.

But for the record I do think Comic Sans can look great in the right setting. I saw a wonderful use of it, and will take a picture and post it later in another thread.

Bald Condensed's picture

Nice try, William... :-D

raph's picture

"We already talked about this upthread/in a different thread/on Alpha Centauri."

William Berkson's picture

>Nice try, William…

"Oh ye of little faith." (I won't be in that city for another few weeks...)

Chris Keegan's picture

Sorry William, must have missed that one. I figured it had been beaten to death already, but was the best I could come up with :)

Joe Pemberton's picture

"If I can't post anonymously and insult people then I'm taking my toys and going home."

Bald Condensed's picture

Glad that's over with.

smarks's picture

For the sake of completeness,

‘4. Do not misspell “Typophile”.’

cedilla's picture

"who needs accents anyways ?"

"can you send me your new font so i can test it ?"

"i never use serifs"

"David Carson invented post-modernism"

Bald Condensed's picture

“Can you send me your new font so I can test it ?”

Hey, there's nothing wrong with that!?

andi emery's picture

Some of my favourite sayings (heard in my classroom) include:

What’s a tick mark again?
I think I need an Old School typeface.
I didn’t distort the type. I just expanded it a bit.
What size is the best size to set type at?
I underlined this bit of type to emphasize it.

(This is fun!)

jupiterboy's picture

How about “I’m graduating from design school and need to write a paper. What should I write about? The paper is due tomorrow.”

hankzane's picture

Bring back the old Typophile!

vinceconnare's picture

"I love Apple"
"I think the Ipod is better than an Epson P-200 "
" Windows users rule and are smarter than dumb designers "
"Linux rocks"
"Intel inside"
"George Bush deserves a doctorate in English"
"I hate Comic Sans and I want to make some money saying that"
"my wife hates Comic Sans and doesn't do quilt making

vinceconnare's picture

Pass the houmous, please!

TBiddy's picture

How about: "Enjoy your successful career and revel in the fact that you've created something that sparks fiery debate."

Brendan Callahan's picture

"I'll get rich quick with type, right?"

Bald Condensed's picture

Who makes money saying he/she hates Comic Sans? Sounds like a good scam. :-)

Oh, and Sergej, you sound like a broken old record, repeating yourself endlessly...

paul d hunt's picture

i think he realises that and that's why he posted that statement in this thread. ;^)

dezcom's picture

"i think he realises that and that’s why he posted that statement in this thread. ;^)"

I think Paul is right. Sergei made a funny--laughing at ones self is a healthy sign. Good one Sergei!


Si_Daniels's picture

Perhaps we need a thread on the top ten things "to say" on TP if you want to be taken seriously. I'll start you off...

"Mac OS 8 is so much a better platform for font design than Tiger"


e341's picture

I got one:

"Is Neville Brody gonna be at that conference?"

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